Honor your Father and your Mother...

...so your days will be longer.

So my Mom started of the New Year by losing her best friend.

And my Dad is marrying his.

Ironic right!?!?

Every day between 10:30 and 11am...Monday thru Friday, my Mom calls me during her lunch break to chat. It's just what she does.  Last Tuesday she called and her voice was different.  She told me that her best friend Gary had died.  I didn't know what to say.  So I said, "Mom, I'm so sorry."  She was in disbelief...she said it hadn't hit her yet...and she repeated twice that she had just talked to him on Christmas Day. Pause. I have never actually seen my Mom cry my entire life. NEVER. Which I know is unheard of for a Woman.  I remember hearing her cry once when she locked herself in the bathroom after my Dad and her got into a fight.  But actually witness a tear falling from her eye??? Negative. That day marked the second time I have heard her break down.  It broke my heart. Cathy is one of the most emotionally sound people I know.  Well, when it comes to handling her feelings and such.  She's nothing like me.  I cry at the drop of a dime...for people I don't even know...for feelings I don't even have...it's a well known fact that I'm a cryer.  When she started to break down...she immediately told me she had to go back to work and hung up.  This is how I knew this really affected her.  Gary grew up with my Mom...they were high school sweethearts...and always kept in touch.  I've always remembered him coming to Mother's (my Grandmother's nickname for herself because she said 'Grandma' sounded too old) house every summer to visit.  He was a nice guy...he bought me RC cola's and peanuts.  My mom's favorite snack.  I think it's a country thing. We used to go watch him play softball at "The Park" in the evenings. I don't really know much about him by choice.  Well...really it's all Derrick's fault.  When you're 6 and some man other than your Father goes on a walk with your Mother, you could care less.  But when your 6 and your 15 year old cousin tells you that you need to call and tell your Dad that someone other than him is going on a walk with your Mother...it may pose a problem.  From that day on...I never really much cared for him.  I know it sounds terrible for me to be saying this and this man has lost his lost...but I have to be honest. The man never did anything to me...I just held on to a memory of being 6. Fast Forward to today.  My Mom is in Mississippi  preparing to bury her best friend.  I know how much he meant to her.  Just because I had issues that maybe weren't really issues...doesn't mean that I'm not hurting for her.  Out of all the people in my life...I hate to see my Mom hurting the most.

Last night I received another call.  This time from the other half of my DNA.  I ignored the call.  Yes I have issues with my Dad.  Admittance is the first step right!?!?  I'm trying very hard to get past these issues because they are affecting other parts of my life.  It bothers me that he can go weeks without speaking to me and it not phase him.  It bothers me that when you do call...you don't do it because you care...you do it because someone told you you should. It bothers me that the only thing you know about me is my favorite color. It bothers me that you send my siblings and my birthday cards (empty at that) at the beginning of the month because you aren't quite sure of the dates. It bothers me that at 8 you told me no man would ever want me because I was fat and put me on a diet eating horse pills.  It bothers me that you told me at 10 that you actually wanted my Mom to have an abortion because you were ready to leave her anyway. It bothers me that you kept my sister away from us. It bothers me that when our house got broken into, you told the police that you knew my Mother was responsible for it because they went to your file cabinet looking for money.  It bothers me that you have never been supportive of anything that I have ever set out to do in my life including my most recent choice to run a marathon.  It bothers me that you always make plans and never follow through. (an 'ahhh haaahhh' moment just hit) It bothers me that my whole life he talked about my Mother like a dog for keeping my brother and I in church...told me not to pay my tithes because I couldn't afford too...pulled my brother out of choir rehearsal because he was on 'punishment'...but is now a bible toting...re severed seat having...hymn singing...board of trustees member of somebody's congregation.  Yes.  I have issues with my Father. But I am determined to get over them.  I pray saying all of that has helped.

He called again today.  His voicemail said that he needed to hear from me.  Ummm

* Insert back story here.  The status on my bbm says that I'm on sabbatical for the entire weekend and not to bother me.  True statement.  My sister T and I have most of out convos through bbm.  She typed something to me yesterday about her ignoring my little comment and that she was my sister and she could talk to me whenever and started telling me about her 18 mile run.  I responded that I was glad she made it through.  I said I didn't want to talk...that meant to everyone.  Is that mean???  Oh. I also called my brother to fill him in about my Mom's situation.  He too was on the "what's wrong with you kick"  Dude...can a sista just be tired and need a break from everyone geesh!!!  End back story.*

  It was relevant that Kenny or Tanya had talked to my Dad and now he felt the need to be a Father.  Womp Womp. Or so I thought.  After going back and forth about me having or not having a problem, asking if my Mom had done something to me (NEGRO WHAT?), he says, "Well, I told you I'm getting married on Thursday huh? Well, maybe I didn't tell you."

Me: Wow.  Umm. That's great.

Him: I don't know if it's great...but I'm thinking about doing it.

Me:  If your happy, I'm happy for you.

Him:  That's it?

Me:  I don't know what you want me to say Dad

Him:  What is your problem?

Me: Uh...I don't have a problem.  I just said I was happy for you.  I'm not opposed to you getting married.  You don't need my approval.

Him:  I know I don't.  But I was just running it by you.

Me:  Well, tell Coe Congratulations.  Good for the both of you.

Him: Fine Krysti Ann...when you feel like talking I will be here. *click*

I'm sorry, did this conversation just happen???  Was a supposed to jump up and down and ask to be a bridesmaid?  Obviously you don't want me to be apart of your nuptials in you call 4 days before to inform me of them and I live 2 states away.  Honestly I commend her for putting up with your crazy behind for all this time...and if she wants to marry you...go right ahead.  But don't try to switch it up on me like I have a problem with it.  I like Coevette. We get along great.  And if she makes you happy...so be it.  But what do you want me to do...announce it on my Facebook???  Ask for all the details on something you may nor may not go through with???  Maybe I should have have asked where they were registered and send them an empty card.

All I know is that took a few days away from everyone to just think.  I needed to just breath.  There is a lot running through my world right now...and I just needed to sort some things out without the input of others.  I don't see the big deal.

Mommy loses.
Dad gains.
Ironic right?!?!

That Shit just doesn't seem fair.