."...sometimes it's soft as a misty rain...that gently touches my soul..."
I know, I know. it's 6:31 in the am on my day off and I'm up. Terrible. Well, not so much considering that I was out my 8:30 last night. Twelve hour days will do that to a sista. Not to mention that I was up prepping some stuff for Eb's baby shower until after 1 and turned around and got up at 5 to be at work my 7. Had a loooooonnnnnggg list of stuff to get completed at work...only to walk in and find out I was leader "going to have to be" Leader On Duty for the 1st 5 hours of my shift. There went my plan to get everything accomplished in 8 hours. Hence the 12...
It's raining.
Work has been pretty crazy for about the last month. I haven't really recovered from Christmas or that week of overnight shifts. My gym game is not up to par...especially if I'm trying to beat my marathon time by 9 minutes at the end of March. I have just been so tired that I haven't had the energy to drag myself up the street after work to go to my favorite place. Where did all that determination I had go??? I know 1/3 of it went to Richardson when Coach left. Hummm...but I still trained by myself for 4 months after he was gone. Last week I only ran twice. No Bueno. I will say that I'm glad I'm finally getting some weight classes in...because I need to tone up. Body pump (the new class@24 Hour Fitness) is no joke. I'm sore from one class to the next one...and i do it every other day. Lawd help. I can tell that I'm getting stronger because i don't have to stop during the class as much to take breaks. I dunno if I will ever have Angela Bassett guns...but I'm mos def getting rid of Oprah's.
It's raining.
Update: I talked to my sister Sunday and it had been confirmed that Columbus did indeed get married. Congrats. And that is all the space I'm allowing him to take up.
Now for the meat...(potatoes are not currently a part of my diet)...
I miss him. I think the anger has settled...the hurt has calmed...and I'm starting not to dismiss every thought of him. This.Right.Here.Is.My...Stupid Girl Swag....AAAyyyyyyYYYeeeee!!!! Ok. I'm not stupid, but you know. I can see the "Danger, Danger" signs flashing in my head. He popped up on my yahoo messenger the other night...after not being on there for months. I was tempted to say something...even if was "I hate you" (which we all know I don't)...but I didn't. So far I've been able to knock the little bad guy off my shoulder. Deep down, I know it's for the best...shoot I haven't even reached a point where if he showed up at my door today...I wouldn't throw my panties out the window!!! Ummm...don't let that get out too far...I don't need that kind of trouble. We haven't spoken in over a month. Not the longest (that would be about 6 months)...so I'm not sure how this is going to play out. Dude all I ever asked was to do what you said you were going to do...when you said you were going to do it. That's not a lot. It came out of your mouth...not mine. That's why it baffles me that one could be so shocked and appalled that I would call you out on your actions...TOWARDS ME!?!? So you can call me a crazy/mean/deranged Bitty (I will only own up to the crazy portion of that tag)...but that is just the amount of respect I demand. We would be able mesh quite nicely if he could get one little thing together. But every time I say it's the last time...it isn't. Maybe that is the part that scares me. I mean neither one of us have deleted each other from any of our social media networks (too many to name). If he was done...I'd be blocked or something right!?!? All of his numbers are still in my phone. Every single time my phone rings...I look for his picture to pop up. It hasn't. I've reread every single email/text just because they were from him. Got a surprise in one email that I guess I didn't scroll all the way down on the day it was sent. How could I have missed that??? Well, it was written after pressing enter about 6 times...and my Blackberry screen only covers so much. Damn...had I seen it then...things could have possibly gone a different way. Maybe not. He and I are both stubborn...so I know we are waiting on the other to act first. But I said I was done right? I'm finished and moving on, No!?!? Yes.Yes I did. Maybe the "Hello, hello, hello? Hello?..Yo, yo whas up??? Hey..." convo won't happen like the end of Honey Molasses/beginning of Love Rain. *sighs* Okay maybe deranged too... Bottom line is this. I don't see this playing out like I would like it too. The day it does...is the day I will be over it.
But as for today...It's raining...
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